A Collective Self


:: Ethan. 22. Eugene, OR ::
:: Creating. Connecting. Understanding. ::
:: Art. Design. Psychology. Cats. ::
:: While I'm Alive, I'll Feel Alive. ::

Unstable footing near the edge.
I’ve been here before.
I didn’t want to come back.


Aw, shucks. Thank you anon. Even with the beard? haha


There is a simple dichotomy in my life.
I exist as two different people.
One I am proud of and display to the world.
And the other I lock away in the dark.

The first is a pleasant and kind person.
Motivated and successful at many things.
Who speaks easily and smiles often.
And enjoys being free.

The latter is a pathetic and incapable person.
A failure in the past that motivates the former.
Who stays silent and sullen always.
And knows it’s place.

The former is the equilibrium of my life.
That handles the ups and downs and balances them.
That creates a stable and capable existence.
"I have come a long way and will go further".

The latter is the entropy of my life.
That cannot handle the downs and ignores the ups.
That creates a vacuum of anxious existence.
"I have come a long way but will never go very far".

They stay separate now.
Most of the time.